As a song writer once wrote, we are only what we feel. It is a track from an album of Crosby, Still, Nash and Young. This is also true to life changing events that can distort the way people feel. Moving from an unsafe to safe state of being requires much attention. Incidences such as rape, murder and physical abuse can distort the way we feel about ourselves and the world around us.

Once we are able to discover those reasons, we are able to proceed with our lives in a more positive fulfilling way. There are many occurrences in life that can leave us feeling vulnerable, unsafe and panicky. Sometimes as people we struggle to understand these occurrences due to their degrees of severity.

Some cases, as women will allude to and men alike, rape is one instance that many grapple with for years after the event. This is an extreme case of trauma and one that leads to feelings of severe insecurity and fear buried among a host of other feelings that are attached with an event of having being personally vandalized. It takes years to make sense of these feelings of vandalization on the self of a person.

Vandalism is another form of abuse where a victim is involved. This is noticeable in cases of house break ins. It can be likened to a mild form of rape even should a homeowner not be molested or touched in any physical way. A home is in essence the private domain of a person just as emotions are the inner domain of a person.

The self is really in essence all aspects that form part of who you are as a person. It characterizes your character and is of course made up of many different facets such as the way you feel, your strengths, weaknesses and also your limitations. When we feel unsafe as individuals it is usually because our character was infringed upon by another person, an animal or an event that we had no control over what so ever.

It is a natural course of events that can sometimes take years to heal. When incidences such as these occur suddenly and unexpectedly, the chemical change is drastic often too extreme for the body to cope with. Feelings of lonesomeness is very common although more extreme cases such as feeling that you are totally alone with the feelings you have, is unnatural.

People who feel this way are often seen to be withdrawn and anti social. This can exacerbate the lonesome feelings that they feel. When this happens more extreme cases of anti social behavior can pursue such as schizophrenia, schizo effective disorders, bi polar disorders and in a lower extreme, depression. The medical fraternity of psychiatry have not found a clear solution in terms of medication.

When we are able to do this, we are in a process of healing. We change the unsafe to safe in order to bring about our sense of self worth as individuals not only for ourselves but in order that we can participate in a more enhanced functional life. More importantly, that we feel our lives are important to us and to others. Life and the pursuit of its enjoyment is about bringing those feelings back into balance by understanding why we feel the way we do.